What's your Dialogue?

What’s your dialogue?

I have been working with clients as a coach, manager and business owner for the better part of ten years. I have learnt a ton of shit about humans in that time, but the most interesting thing I have learnt is how predictable someone’s response can be when I greet them before a session or in passing.

The classic question – how are you? – is something I generally avoid asking, simply because I tend to know what the answer will be, depending on who is standing in front of me.

When was the last time you paid attention to what you said to someone when they asked, how are you doing? What if the constant dialogue or story you were telling yourself was actually amplifying those feelings instead of allowing you to push through them and move forward?

I will always call my clients out on this after awhile.

For example, an early morning client comes in every week at the same time and I ask, “how are you doing?” and, “what do you feel like working on today?” I already know the answer and therefore I’ve already constructed the workout, which is in complete contrast to the answer they are about to give me.

But I ask it anyway.

The answer is, *sigh* “tired, something easy today.” Every. Single. Week.

I call that person out after a few weeks of getting the same response and the behavior suddenly changes because there is an awareness of the dialogue. The following week, that same client (who has been following the same fatigued pattern at the start of every session) suddenly brings energy and enthusiasm to their session.

Telling yourself and others that you are stressed, working too many hours, tired, fatigued, in pain, probably going to injure yourself or just don’t feel like being there doesn’t actually serve you as a human being. What it does do, however, is affect your experience during that moment in time. What if you could shift your focus to a place of joy and gratitude for the opportunity and the ability to invest in your own health and well-being?

The other issue when continually repeating the same thought process and dialogue is reinforcing the fabled “boy who cried wolf” situation. People find it really hard to empathise with other humans who constantly tell the same story of tragedy, drama or unhappiness, especially if you are not taking proactive steps to make changes to your circumstances.

If you are THAT unhappy in your world/job/life – change it. Yes, it is actually that simple. You get ONE life. Why would you waste a nanosecond of it doing something that doesn’t bring you complete joy and satisfaction? I can promise you, Ritual HQ would not exist if I was working for money. I’ve worked for money, really good money in fact. Now I work for the pure joy and love of what I do. Thank god for Centrelink and a tight budget! I would not change it for the world. My happiness is worth every single cent I gave up, and then some.

I was chatting about this to one of our coaches, Braeden, who is also someone I talk to very openly about pretty much everything. I was saying to her that I not only know the first thing some of my clients are going to say to me at the start of a session, I also generally know the tone to expect it in.

The difference is that I will challenge it and dig deeper if this becomes a recurring theme, because I genuinely want my people to have a better quality of life. And sometimes this starts with awareness.

What if simply changing one tiny word could have a massive impact on the way you feel and the energy you experience? Take this phrase for example:

“I HAVE to go the gym today.”

Now, make one small change:

“I GET to go to the gym today.”

It feels completely different, right?

So, what is your dialogue? What are the questions you are asking yourself? And finally, what is your standard response when someone asks you how you are?

Give this some thought and ask yourself some quality questions about how you really are. You might be surprised with the answers!

Having said all of that, I want to acknowledge that for those who are actively seeking change for the better but are still suffering through no choice of their own (fatigue, injuries, stress, etc.), it's ok to speak honestly and openly to help seek clarity, direction or professional help.

I know the Ritual HQ team will support you!